Support Him

I get lots of emails from women asking me for tips on how to support the man in their lives. Why? I think it’s because while gals have mastered the role of being incredibly helpful to their female friends, they manage to miss the boat when it comes to guys.From the time that they are little boys, men are taught NOT to ask for support— that they are “weak” or less than masculine if they need help. No wonder so many grown-up guys are clueless on how to ask for and accept support from their partners.

1.Show Optimism. When he comes home with a harebrained scheme about building a rocket to the moon, respond to him, “Fantastic! I can’t wait to get there!” Sure it may seem a little nutty for anyone who isn’t an astrophysicist, but he sure will LOVE the fact that you’re on board regardless of the improbability of him completing that rocket. And your support is always an extra incentive – because your man wants to reward your unconditional support.

2.Push him. Once he decides to build that rocket, don’t let him get away with NOT doing it! There’s a fine line though: do not turn his lack of completion into an insult. men tend to thrive on a gentle mixture of belief and prodding. Unless you’re with a man who never seems to complete anything, you can’t hammer him with, “What happened to that rocket you were supposed to build? I knew you wouldn’t do it!” No, you want to go with something more along the lines of, “How is your rocket project going? How can I help you keep at it?” The message you’re sending is that you believe in him and that you want him to succeed. He’ll love you even more for that.

3.Remember that he’s your partner. There’s something to the saying, “Let a man be a man.” men want to provide and protect. This desire is probably driven in some aspects by biology but to an even greater extent, societal and sociological influences. And those influences are intense. The pressure to be that protector/provider is great, sometimes suffocating. Assure him that your love and support for him is unconditional. Let him know that you two are a team; working together towards the same goals... and that the success of your relationship is up to both of you.

The fact is that some men won't open up about all the stressors in their lives. It’s the man mentality. Encourage him to be open and help him realize that manhood shouldn’t be predicated upon "appearing" strong.

FEEL HIM  

Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so.

It's clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. Because I care about these things, and care about the environments children grow in, I'm using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem—again.

From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it's a start. Print them out and pin them up on your refrigerator door. I won't test you on them—but life will.

• Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. They remind us of someone from our past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others.
• Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they'll create it where it doesn't exist.
• Don't confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love.
• Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.
• Respect, respect, respect. Inside and outside the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Mutual respect is essential to a good relationship.
• View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team—your differences.
• Know how to manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them.
• If you don't understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don't assume.
• Solve problems as they arise. Don't let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become strangers. Or enemies.
• Learn to negotiate. Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people's needs are fluid and change over time, and life's demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.
• Listen, truly listen, to your partner's concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. Plus it opens the door to confiding. And empathy is crucial. Look at things from your partner's perspective as well as your own.
• Work hard at maintaining closeness. Closeness doesn't happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn't an end goal; it's a lifelong process maintained through regular attention.
• Take a long-range view. A marriage is an agreement to spend a future together. Check out your dreams with each other regularly to make sure you're both on the same path. Update your dreams regularly.
• Never underestimate the power of good grooming.
• Sex is good. Pillow talk is better. Sex is easy, intimacy is difficult. It requires honesty, openness, self-disclosure, confiding concerns, fears, sadness as well as hopes and dreams.

8 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship

Love is perhaps our most powerful emotion, and the need to be in a loving relationship may be one of the strongest needs we have. Being in an intimate relationship makes us feel connected, not only to our partner, but also to the world at large. When our hearts are filled with love, we feel profoundly content and satisfied. We become more patient, more empathetic, kinder, gentler. 

But personal intimacy doesn't merely affect our emotional well-being. According to numerous scientific studies, the power of love directly affects our physical health, too, by boosting our immune system, improving our cardiovascular functioning, and increasing our life expectancy. "Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well," says Dean Ornish, M.D., who explores the connections between love and health in his book Love & Survival (HarperCollins). "When you look at the scientific data, the need for love and intimacy is as important and basic as eating, breathing, and sleeping."

On Valentine's Day, we celebrate our love for each other over candlelit dinners or through exchanges of chocolates, flowers, and slinky lingerie. But a box of bon-bons only lasts so long. Experts agree that the key to a vitalized, long-lasting relationship is what you and your partner do the other 364 days of the year. Indeed, keeping your love alive requires continual time and effort. Following are eight steps you can take to keep the flame burning. 

1. Be Friends

Any healthy relationship must be based on a solid underlying friendship. Remember to treat your partner with the same kindness, respect, and appreciation as you would a close friend. Support, listen to, and laugh with each other. Don't allow yourselves to be rude or disrespectful. 

2. Stay Connected 

"Couples need to spend a lot of time with each other," advises David Kaplan, Ph.D., chair of the Department of Counselor Education and Rehabilitation programs at Emporia State University in Emporia, Kansas. "There is no substitute for quantity of time." Kaplan encourages couples to take a half-day a week to go out on a date. In addition, devote at least 15 minutes of your day to meaningful, one-on-one conversation — no television or kids allowed. 

3. Get Physical

Physical intimacy is a natural, and healthy, extension of a relationship. Our best sexual intentions are often put to rest, however, as we collapse into an exhausted heap at the end of the day. Instead, you and your partner need to consciously commit to turning up the heat. Leave the dishes in the sink, turn the laptop off, and just do it! Set the mood with the sensual music, and light some calming aromatherapy candles or incense. Learn to communicate your loving energy through touch.

4. Celebrate Each Other

Saying something kind and affectionate to your partner should be a daily habit. The expression of loving thoughts nourishes your relationship by helping you both remember what it is you treasure about each other. Let your partner know how much you appreciate him or her, and be generous with compliments and expressions of affection.

5. Fight Well

Since disagreements and arguments are inevitable, what's important is notwhether you fight but how you fight. When disagreements surface, keep them short. "No more than 10 minutes," says Kaplan. "After 10 minutes, it gets nasty and repetitive." Also, keep boundaries on the subject matter. Don't dredge up issues from last week or last month-keep your dispute focused on the matter at hand.

6. Take a Class

Feeling like your relationship could benefit from professional advice? Why not take a class on communications skills, attend a seminar on loving kindness, or read a book on relationship-building together? Your efforts will likely spark important discussions about your relationship and, ultimately, enhance it. A good starting point is Phillip McGraw, Ph.D.'s straight-talking tome Relationship Rescue(Hyperion, 2000).

7. Listen Carefully 

Being an attentive listener lets your partner know that his or her thoughts and feelings are important to you. Moreover, good listening encourages partners "to open up and be willing to share," say Richard and Kristine Carlson, authors of Don't Sweat the Small Things in Love (Hyperion, 1999). The secret, say the Carlsons, is not just to "hear" what your partner is saying, but to be truly "present," having a heartfelt desire to understand what is being said and listening without being judgmental.

8. Maintain Your Sense of Self

Partners must learn to balance their needs as individuals with their needs as a couple. "On one hand, you don't want people to be too far apart emotionally. If you don't spend time together, you become disengaged emotionally," says Kaplan. "The other end of the spectrum is couples that become too dependent on each other and their individual identity gets lost." Ideally, the two of you should be close enough to have intimacy, yet "far enough away to have individual identity," says Kaplan. Don't be afraid to develop some friendships and interests separate from your partner.

TOUCH HIS HEART

Many women asked me that how I touch my boyfriend heart, in another mean how I capture his heart for mine. Men psychologically is greatly differ than women in their mentality, behaviour and many situations reflexes, from experiences most problems are born due to lack of men mentality nature and how most of men think, in this essay; you will know little about men mentality and how they do think.

  ,, No one ever said that relationships are easy. This is because they really aren't. There is a lot of understanding that is needed. If you want to capture a man's heart then you will need to make sure that you are careful to learn to understand how men work. You will have to get in touch with him and who he is to touch him like no other.

The pace.
The first thing that you need to know is that men struggle with the pace of the relationship. It is hard to understand, but men struggle with moving quickly in a relationship. Because of this it is a good idea for you to let him lead the pace. This will make it so that he is comfortable in the relationship. It is when he relaxes that will allow him to fall in love.

Push his buttons.
The first thing that you need to do to touch him like no other is to push his buttons. This means that you should work on having fun with him and making him feel alive. Let him have fun and work on being uplifting, take interest in his hobbies and job, make him feel great, and work on touching his heart.

Sex.
It would seem that sex is always an issue. At the start of a relationship it is important that you make sure that you wait for sex. It is important that you give your relationship some time before you have sex. This will make it so that you can develop the emotional bonds that are important to making your relationship last.

Time. 
You should also work to balance your time out. You want to make sure that you spend enough time and enough good times together that you are able to make him feel alive. At the same time you want to make sure that you are spending enough time apart. This will make him miss you and to evaluate how he feels.

To capture a man's heart you need to touch him like no other. It is important that you let him lead the pace, you take care to push his buttons, and that you avoid sex at the start of the relationship. In addition to that you should also take the time to spend with him and to spend apart from him. Do these things and he will be yours. believe me; men the most easy to capture his heart, what I like to say more, appreciate, trust, believe and support him then you will see different person you have not ever seen before. GOOD LUCK .

How to Show Your Man Some Love

  I often see women asking the question: How can I show my husband I love him? Typical responses seem to include things like sending him love notes and making his lunch. Some people will suggest getting in shape and dressing well for him (great ways to make him feel good, actually!) but there is far too little information regarding what your husband really needs from you.

What He Needs to Know:

Your husband needs to know that you respect him. I know, I know, the concept might seem foreign to a lot of women. "Respect?" you say. "What's the big deal about respect?" But you see, men and women are, contrary to popular cultural belief... different. Women don't think the same, they don't act the same, and they don't respond the same to similar situations. Women always will be different, no matter how much society wishes to make them similar and equal. So indulge me for just a moment and take a look at what is important to a man.

Men need respect. Respect is vital to a man. For a woman, love is like oxygen. It is a living, breathing need for us. We will fall apart, or complain, or withdraw if we are feeling unloved. Men are the same way, except that their need is for respect and they will often withdraw from us when they don't feel that they are respected.

Additionally, men equate respect with love. They see your respect for them as a sign of your love. When you approach your husband with a proclamation of your love for him, he may be completely unphased. If you try telling him that you respect him, however, you may see a pronounced difference in his reaction.

How to Show Respect to Him

There are several things that you can do that will help your husband to feel respected by you.

Appreciate him:

Your husband will feel both appreciated and respected when you tell him how much it means to you that he supports (or helps to support) your family. His work is something that is very important to him and it means a great deal to a man when his woman respects and appreciates him for everything he does for her and their children!

Admire Him:

So what do you admire about your husband? Let's see... you admire the fact that he is an excellent cook . you admire him for his dedication to continuing education and increasing his knowledge. you admire him for knowing when to say "enough is enough." you admire him for doing the best he could as a single dad for so many years. you admire him for his artistic talent. you admire him for his perseverance in spite of adversity. let him see your soul beauty.you will find different person with you.

Adore Him (in a Human Sense)

This may look different depending on your individual circumstances, but your husband thrives on your adoration. Do you greet him at the door when he arrives home from work? This will show him that you adore him (and therefore that you love him). Do you take the time to give him a shoulder rub after a particularly difficult day? Do you take the time to spend "shoulder to shoulder" time with him (as he would with his guy friends?). Do you suggest activities for your family that you know he enjoys (golfing, fishing, etc)? Do you ever give him his space just so he can relax without worrying?

One Last Thing:

Ladies, like it or not, he cares about how you look. man never think like a women think, they see the situation from different prospect. they care about look, smell, behaviour even care about women walk, this in normal, you can imagine how that will happen if this your husband, he can count your breaths!!

make him always think you are different every hour you sit with him, Good luck